So we killed some new shit. In doing so we learned a few things, like apparently people don’t know the difference between Dick’s, as made famous by Sir-Mix-A-Lot and dicks as made famous by Ron Jeremy. Please educate yourselves accordingly. That is all.

Exhibit A

Screenies and quotes after the break.

It has been a rough couple of weeks for us as a team. And by rough, I mean “oh god, where is the boxed wine”. We’ve been steadily chipping away at Heroic Zon’ozz, but haven’t quite found our groove yet.  We are close, but those pesky eyeballs and phallic tentacles are still staring us down.  However, with the holiday upon us, and our roster a little lighter due to eggnog, Santa Claus and out of town guests, we decided we’d give old eight eyes a break and see what Hagara had to offer us.

As it turns out, she offered us some very nice jewelry, a few shoulder pads and a pair of walkin’ boots.

After a couple of weeks of beating our heads against Zon’ozz – Hagara’s simplicity was just what the doctor ordered. And I’ll admit –  it sure felt good to add another notch to our T13 weapon handles. Here’s to a Happy Holiday for everyone! May we return refreshed, invigorated and ready to continue kicking ass.

Screenies and Quotes after the break!

There’s really not much to say about this encounter. It’s a good entry level heroic encounter. Hopefully Blizzard has set the pace of Dragon Soul as more of a staircase leading to Deathwing, and not like the flat treadmill leading into a brick wall that was Firelands and Ragnaros.

As for the screenshot, well, Beru put Morchok into Google images and this is what spit back out. Since Christopher Walken is much cooler than our kill, enjoy seeing the man in a purple wizard’s robe.

I’m told the title means something too, but I’ll bet only Beru gets the reference to the music she picked for the kill video. I know I was baffled as hell when she said she needed a Stomp song.

Brade

Heroic Morchok

(Yes…I forgot the screenshot. Have a kill video instead, assholes!)

Quotes after the break!

With a resounding crash of a broken jaw full of loot, the end of the ascendance of dragonkind, and one orc(an?) bun in the oven, Deathwing sank into the Maelstrom in front of 25 Monolithians.

I would have to say this is the least dragony dragon I’ve ever had the opportunity to kill. Dragons are all about their wings, tails, claws, jaws and breath weapons. They rip shit apart through their sheer size and physical presence, and melt to slag anything dumb enough to stand in their fiery breath. Deathwing did not feel like that at all and he didn’t do any of those things. The biggest, baddest dragon of all dragonkind wasn’t a dragon fight at all. He was something far more sinister.

Deathwing was a jumbo-sized clown car.

On his back we defeated 3 tendons with 3 amalgamations that were spawned from 3 tentacles, each caused to explode with 9 bloods. The tentacles respawned when killed, the blood never stopped spawning, and amalgamations would pop out so often we had to cause Deathwing to roll to shake the excess adds into the deep blue sea. When that was done and he splashed down into the Maelstrom we had to defeat 4 appendages, 4 tentacles, 4 elementium bolts, 40 blood, and 120 mini-tentacles (thank god Alexstraza helps here) just to get to phase 2 and a crack at his head. Of course it wouldn’t be a phase 2 without another set of 8 small adds and 2 big adds on a recurring timer while he passively laid around amping up raid damage by his shear presence alone.

All said and done Deathwing wasn’t the boss here. The 230+ clowns that came pouring out of his ass like a bad McDonald’s experience were the true terror. Anyone who tells you differently is living in a dreamland. And might be constipated. Maybe.

-Brade

Deathwing