April 12, 2005
Brade

Welcome to our new Monolith webpage!

After months of stagnation and no updates we've finally got a board running that we can get a handle on and change with something a little more recent, than say, a five man quest completed almost four months ago. Though it's a very good quest...really, it is. Why the hell else would we leave it up for 4 months?

Monolith is an end-game raiding horde guild on the Llane server. For those who play horde you have by now realized you picked the lesser chosen path. Almost three times as many people have chosen easy mode and are even now lagging Ironforge to a near halt. Despite a poorer economy, less people to choose from, and weaker raid priest abilities, the horde can still accomplish the same things the alliance does. And we will, if we have to sacrifice every dwarven paladin to the gods for good luck.

Molten Core

To prove this point, the combined forces of Monolith and Entropic Order entered Molten Core for the first time with a full raid. Sure, Monolith went once before with 21, but after wiping twice before killing the first two giants, and being subsequently raped prison style by the fire lords, we waited to go again with a full raid. 40 people makes a huge difference over 21 and after a couple of short hours, and a couple of wipes (the, "Where the fuck did that come from?" type of wipes) we reached Lucifron.

This is where the biggest glaring difference between raiding alliance and horde rose up, kicked us in the nuts, and took our wallets. See, there are two classes in WoW that can dispel friendly targets, Priests and Paladins. I know what you alliance are thinking, "But shamans can dispel too!" Only in my wildest dreams, fit in between winning the lottery and naked swedish models massaging my ego to enlarged proportions. The best they can do is purge effects off enemies, and that's it. Their equivalent to dispel is the Grounding Totem...but I'll get to that later.

So here we are with few priests (one literally played a PC to death before calling and saying he was screwed) left to try and dispel a raid of 40. We even resorted to warlocks using felhounds for a few more dispels per minute. Shamans tried using grounding totems, but they don't ground out and nullify AE effects. I'll repeat that. Grounding totems DO NOT work on AE effects. Short of our shamans running up with the rogues and shoving this splintered piece of wood up Lucifron's ass, the grounding totem is placed on the ground for pure decoration. Without enough dispels, every time his DD AE fires off, 90% of the raid got to watch the 10 second timer and imagine the movie countdown voice, "10 seconds until you're fucked and take 2000 damage."

Despite our lack of dispels, we managed to get Lucifron all the way down to 35%. I'd like to say this day ended with a tale of agony, followed by triumph. However, it was more like a dinner for two at an expensive french restaurant. Our date went to go powder her nose, and while we sat oblivious at the table, she slipped out the front and hailed a cab. All we were left with was a sadistic matre'd dressed an awful lot like a repair-bot, standing all prim and proper, and offering us the check. I swear, if repair bots form a union, they'll buy the world and rule with an iron fist. Literally.

Lucifron's days are numbered. Line up the dwarven paladins for sacrifice, because we're coming back with a vengeance...I don't know if the sacrifices help, but the world can always use less dwarven paladins. If we run out, god knows there's always night elf hunters. They breed like rabbits.